Tài liệu Should women pursue careers

Should Women Pursue Careers? Apr 23, 2012 | 26 comments Carolyn McCulley, author of Radical Womanhood, is teaming up with Nora Shank to tackle the topic of women and work in a new book. Last month McCulley posted a draft of the prologue on her blog. Here is an excerpt: I think it’s no surprise that far more verses in the Proverbs 31 portrait are about productivity and financial management than relationships. The divide we created in the 19th century between work and home is an artificial one. In the biblical narrative, work is a co-labor of love. In response to criticism that He healed a sick man on the Sabbath, Jesus said, “My Father is working until now, and I am working” (John 5:17). His work was to glorify His Father and help others. Ours is the same. Over the years, I’ve talked to many women about whether or not they should pursue a career. My answer is always no. Not because I’m trying to hand someone else another one-size-fits-all box, but because the modern concept of “career” is a selfish one. It’s ultimately about self-fulfillment and selfdefinition. What should women do instead? Become good investors. It is God who gives us the relationships, children, time, talents, interests, and tasks that fill our days and years. We can’t force these things to happen nor are these things our true and complete identities. We may be wives or mothers, but as important as these are, they are roles that end in this life. We continue on as children of God and sisters to those who have been rescued by Christ. We may work in highly esteemed professions or we may not be paid for our daily labors. Those roles are not our identities, either. They are opportunities to steward for the glory of God. Whatever God gives us in terms of relationships and opportunities, He wants multiplied for the sake of His kingdom. Should women pursue careers? What does it mean to pursue a career in our culture? Since both McCulley and Shank are entrepreneurs, it’s doubtful they are suggesting women stop working altogether. What does it mean to become a good investor, as McCulley suggests? 1. Vision146said the following on April 23, 2012 at 11:53 am A better question is, if a woman desires to BE something (occupational, in addition to wife/mother) is she in sin? Seems like there are alot of aspiring nurses and teachers in the churches these days. What is a woman is gifted with a talent? Should she hide it from the world? What is she’s passionate about a particular trade? If a career is self-fulfilling and self-defining, why should men be entitled to one? Are women held to a different standard of morality in God’s eyes? Let women pursue careers, at least until they start families, and then see where God leads them. 2. Rosebudsaid the following on April 23, 2012 at 12:33 pm Great thoughts, I like how she changes the focus of the question about careers rather than just saying “yes” or “no” to the question. I have really appreciated McCulley’s teaching in the past. 3. jrsimeonsaid the following on April 23, 2012 at 12:51 pm Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! This article isn’t about whether women should pursue careers because according to her definition, it would be selfish for men to pursue careers as well. For all of us, our focus should be more of what our motivations are for choosing what we do… God is more concerned with where your heart is… are you doing it for Him, others or for yourself? 4. LivingFitsaid the following on April 23, 2012 at 3:14 pm I am confused by this article. I read it three times and am still not flowing with it. But I will admit, the title needs to be changed b/c my blood pressure shot up when I read it. @vision 146–Let women pursue careers, at least until they start families, and then see where God leads them What if a woman cant have a family, or affort to have children? What if she does not want to be married or have children, then what? Do you believe that is what all women are called to do on this earth? 5. FuzzyWuzzysaid the following on April 23, 2012 at 6:25 pm I am very much in favour of women becoming wives and mothers… without paying someone else to do their job while they have a career. However, we must not loose sight of the fact that it is not possible for every Christian woman to marry or even have children. Each one has their own calling. 6. pur4lifesaid the following on April 23, 2012 at 8:48 pm I would rather have a husband and children than have a career, but until the Lord gifts me with that, I have to pursue a livelihood and it needs to be something that honors and glorifies God and uses the talents that he gives me. I think the greater question is what is our priority? I do not know how married women balance raising children and working full-time. However, if they are able to keep the emotional & spiritual health of the home above their career and yet still maintain both, then more power to them. I know I’d never be able to do that. 7. Cassiesaid the following on April 23, 2012 at 9:24 pm Ditto what pur4life said. I’d much rather be a stay-at-home wife/mom than have a job outside the home. It’s hard though, a lot of people think that it’s old fashioned or a waste of time and talents. So sometimes I feel like I must be lazy or strange for wanting to just be a good wife and mother. My mom worked my entire childhood, so I grew up with the expectation of having a full time job like her. I also wonder how I’d be able to balance raising children and working full time. I know it can be done, but it’d be nice to not have to. It definitely comes down to priorities. I think it’s a good idea to choose wether to have a full-time job or to stay at home based on where we think God wants us, not on where we’d rather be (although I’m sure God does take preferences into consideration, he does after all give us dreams). It’s not one-size-fits all either, we should each assess where we think God wants us to be individually. 8. Bishop84said the following on April 23, 2012 at 10:56 pm I am thankful for my step-mom who choose a career. My birth-mom passed away when I was a 1 and 1/2 years old. My Dad was blessed by God in finding a godly woman in my church who was perfect at being my step-mom and his wife. She had been a school teacher for many years and had never been married. She choose to keep her teaching job after my parents got married. I am thankful she did because my dad lost his good paying job when the economy took a downturn in the late 80′s. Her job is what kept us going. She worked long hours as a junior-high science teacher, worked in AWANA with my dad, and was very supportive and caring towards me. I do not like how often in Christian circles woman who still work while raising kids are often looked down upon. My mom did the most loving thing she could by staying in her job, and being a full time teacher, mother, and Godly wife. Here ends my ranting. 9. Vision146said the following on April 24, 2012 at 8:08 pm Well I’d love to stay home with the kids, watch basketball, and maybe churn out a novel while my CEO wife brings in six-figures… but that’s not how God designed it, is it? Men gotta go to work. I’m about to head off right now to a thankless job in order to help ensure the existance of my future children. LivingFit, if a woman can’t have children, hopefully God has a purpose for her to contribute to His overall glory. If a woman doesn’t WANT to marry or have children… hmmm, it could be a sin issue, but Paul says it’s good not to marry in Corinthians. I suppose that could apply to women. 10. campstaffsaid the following on April 24, 2012 at 8:33 pm What I took away from the article was more the question of: do you know what your talents and strengths, gifts, etc are? And are you using them now to glorify God or are you “saving them for someday” like a set of fine china dishes? 11. lydiannsaid the following on April 24, 2012 at 11:09 pm I agree with jrsimeon that the article’s defines the idea of career as necessarily selfish, and if that were true, a career would be sinful for a man as well. I think it is misguided to say that the modern concept of a career is selfish because it is about self-fulfillment and self-definition. True, a career can be selfish and not done to the glory of God, but I would be very reluctant to say all careers are this. I also find it confusing that the author seems open to many ways that women can invest in others, including various work situations, yet give the idea of pursuing a career a blanket “no.” I’m all for complementarian gender differences and roles, but I see no reason to allow that to dictate that no woman should ever pursue a career. Does anyone think Proverbs 31 applies here? I could see it as legitimate to say the woman in that passage has a career. Or would people say, ‘no she just has work’? This may be splitting hairs. Proverbs 31:31 “Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” 12. stephaniezsaid the following on April 24, 2012 at 11:22 pm I think the gist of this is to pursue God before anything else. Don’t pursue a career for the sake of having one or for your own glory. But as many have said, this message should not be restricted to women! 13. CandiceGagesaid the following on April 25, 2012 at 10:15 pm I just saw this on Facebook. Since stay-at-home-moms have taken a few hits in this thread, I just HAD to share. — “A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found …an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel… She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’ She again smiled and answered, ‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?… ”Yes,” was his incredulous reply.. She answered, ‘Well, today I didn’t do it.’ — Of all the people I’ve met, the hardest workers are the SAHMs. 24/7. 14. CandiceGagesaid the following on April 25, 2012 at 10:16 pm I got the story here. The picture is hilarious! http://ow.ly/awtdS 15. Psalm67said the following on April 26, 2012 at 3:36 am “Stay-at-home-moms have taken a few hits in this thread.” Have they? I read the article and the comments and didn’t see anything like that. Could you point it out for us? 16. CandiceGagesaid the following on April 26, 2012 at 9:53 am @Psalm67: Good question. I got confused and posted this in the wrong discussion. They’ve taken a few hits in the Lodge in general — but particularly in the “Are You A Freemale?” thread. I meant to post this there, but got mixed up! The topic comes up in this discussion too, so I guess it’s still somewhat relevant. I like the way McCulley seems to be encouraging an attitude — being an investor — more than a particular lifestyle. It’s important to do your best to invest wisely in the areas God leads you to. For many women, this will be their home. 17. AndreaElenasaid the following on April 26, 2012 at 10:01 am Know what’s awesome about my job/career/profession? (It’s copyediting, by the way.) It can be done from home! As freelance! Would I be totes willing to do that once the babies start arriving after I am married? YOU BETCHA!!! In fact, we have several former fulltime employees from our department who got married, started having babies, and decided to stay home — but they’re also doing contract work for us to help bring in additional income (as the P31 woman did) for their families. w00t! So… I’m just missing the faboo hubby and adorable kidlets. In God’s time… in God’s time. 18. CandiceGagesaid the following on April 26, 2012 at 10:11 am @AndreaElena: Amen to that! That’s one of the things I love about the writing/editing/publishing field — it’s so flexible. There are MANY professions that can be done from home. There are others that can be done part time. And for the rest — many women return to work after their children our grown. Saying a woman prioritizes her home and family is not saying she doesn’t work or that she has no other interests. Rather, it has to do with prayerfully ordering one’s life each day according to what matters most. 19. jrsimeonsaid the following on April 26, 2012 at 6:53 pm Re: Candice – “prayerfully ordering one’s life each day according to what matters most” – so true. That was a funny story… God Bless stay-at-home moms! 20. leelee77said the following on April 26, 2012 at 11:52 pm Lovely comments here! @CandiceGage: “prayerfully ordering one’s life each day according to what matters most”…Good point but I hope you’re not implying it’s not only SAHM. Just checking. And… “Of all the people I’ve met, the hardest workers are the SAHMs. 24/7.” I would hope that’s not the case (24/7) because the husband should help out I think child raising is both parent’s responsibility. The SAHM is with the kids during the day but what happens when the man gets back from work? I think both should be hands on from there. @jrsimeon: And God bless working moms too If a woman doesn’t want to marry or have children, it’s probably not a sin issue. Paul was single so it depends. 21. leelee77said the following on April 26, 2012 at 11:54 pm @CandiceGage: Sorry! I meant that I hope you’re not implying it’s only SAHM. 22. CandiceGagesaid the following on April 27, 2012 at 1:24 am @leelee77:”Good point but I hope you’re not implying it’s not only SAHM. Just checking.” No — I chose my words carefully there. I meant what I said. Though I think it’s preferable for women to stay home with their children, there are legitimate reasons not to. That’s why it’s important to prioritize prayerfully. 23. jrsimeonsaid the following on April 27, 2012 at 8:42 am leelee77: Tiny Tim – “God bless us, every one!” 24. leelee77said the following on April 27, 2012 at 4:54 pm @jrsimeon: I’ll agree to that @CandiceGage: Thanks for clarifying I only said that because I know women that would love to stay home but either their husbands left them for someone younger (sad I know) or the men couldn’t provide, etc. I don’t want it to look like they are less than SAHM or not fulfilling their “God-given” duties. I also don’t think SAHM are the “hardest” workers I think that starts division, etc. They definitely work hard but I think working mothers (especially the ones that were abandoned by their husbands, etc.) who try to put their children first work “harder” than SAHM. From my experience, SAHM have the love and support of a loving and providing husband, etc.. Take that away and it’s very difficult! That’s why single parent homes, lack of spousal support, etc. isn’t what God planned from the beginning. So, I think SAHM, working mothers (that put their family first) all do a good job! That’s why I love Isaiah 54: 1-6. Single parents, barren women, even singles can better identify with it than SAHM, I think 25. leelee77said the following on April 27, 2012 at 10:55 pm @4lizjo: Good point! Being a SAHM until the kids start 1st grade is another option some women have taken. Sadly, they are still looked down (consciously or unconsciously) by some SAHM who choose to stay home much longer and/or home-school their kids. 26. AndreaElenasaid the following on April 28, 2012 at 12:40 am My mom was a SAHM for most of my life. She had a sewing business out of our home for a lot of those years (making clothes for other people’s children and selling fabric, ribbon, buttons, other notions, patterns, etc.). Some of the time I was in college, she worked at the bookstore on campus. (Thus, we commuted together. I lived at home during college — it saved me and my parents lots o’ moolah.) Dad worked for the government and had a stable job, but it didn’t pay hugely. Just enough. He and Mom made it work by being very frugal. We didn’t go on expensive vacations, didn’t buy the latest brands, and didn’t go to expensive restaurants. They saved and saved and saved. They paid off bills in full and on time. (They were doing the Dave Ramsey thing way before Dave Ramsey was!!) I might have been upset that I didn’t have “cool clothes” like other kids did, but looking back, I didn’t really feel the pinch of our living on one full-time formal income. I value so much what Mom did for us by being a SAHM that it’s always been my dream to do the same as she did. (I even wanted to marry right out of college, as she did, but that plan evidently wasn’t God’s plan for me, as I hadn’t even dated yet by the time I graduated college.) In fact, I insist on being a SAHM when the children are not yet in school, and I am open to homeschooling. These are my desires for me and my family; I know that they’re not what’s best for every family. Comment Register for a Marry Well account today to join the discussion. Even basic members can comment. MW_Sam May 1 Just returned from Bible Quizzing Regionals Weekend; very fun! No one hurt, all quizzed well! hesed28 Apr 24 away for the weekend Kristin1776 Apr 16 Missing my precious Daddy!! He's been in heaven for one week now... Patricia_ Apr 15 Going to Busch Gardens this weekend. CandiceGage Apr 14 Got a new server job for the summer! Ready to take advantage of the tourist town economy! More Updates