Giao trinh T h a m van tam li
232
-
L u on s i n sa n g h o c h oi ke ca tu n h u n g sai la m cu a b an than
de n g a y c.\ng cai th ie n ch at ltfQng cac cuqc th a m van.
Q u an d iem tie p can th eo phtfOng p h a p th a n chu tro n g tam
cu a C. R o g ers la i ta p tru n g ch in h va o m oi q u an h e th am van.
T h e o on g, h ieu q u a th a m va n p h y th u o c ch in h va o viec nha tham
van x a y dtfng dtfQc m oi quan h e n h u th e n ao vcri th a n ch u. Chinh
vi v^y m oi q u a n h e th am va n th eo C. R o gers phai h am chtfa dtfQc
nhtfng d iem sau , x et ttf goc do n ha th a m v a n 1:
1. N h a th a m va n phai the hien m in h sao ch o th a n chu nhan
th a y n h a th a m v a n la ngtfdi "d an g tin cay, ch a c c h in , tru n g kien".
N h tf v a y, yeu to tru n g thu'c. ch an th an h cu a n ha th a m van phai
dtfQc th a n ch u cam n h an th ay tro n g m oi q u an h e th a m van nav.
2. N h a th a m va n phai cam nhan dUQc dieu gi d an g xay ra
tro n g m in h de d ien ta th o n g su ot v a p h u hQp g iu a n gon ngtf b in g
ld i v a k h o n g lafi; gitfa ld i noi va h a n h vi n htfng dieu m in h muon
noi, de co n ngUcfi cu a n ha th a m van lu o n m in h b ach , ro rang doi
vcri th a n ch u . K h i n h a th a m va n k h o n g y thu'c dtfQc b an than, co
th e se tru y e n d a t stf m au th u an , stf p h ien h a cho th a n chu. Dieu
n a y k h ie n ch o th a n ch u m at tin ttfd n g va o ch in h b an th an m inh.
3. N h a th a m v a n p h a i trai n gh iem nhtfng th ai d tich ctfc vdi
th a n ch u n h tf b a y to th ai do n o n g h au , ch am soc, tfa th ich, quan
tam . D ieu n a y tra n h ch o n h a th a m v a n r o i va o th ai do lan h lung
"ch u ye n n g h ie p " ctf a m o t m oi q u an h e th a m v a n vo ca tinh.
4. N h a t h a m v a n p h a i co t i n h t h a n m a n h m e, co m o t nhan
cach du m a n h d e b i e t l a p v d i t h a n c h u , de g it f cho m i n h khoi bj
ch an n a n b d i stf s u y n h tfO c c u a t h a n ch u , xao x u y e n b d i n o i
sq
hai
ctf a t h a n c h u v a dam chim b d i s tfle thuQ C c u a t h a n c h u .
5. M a t k h a c , n h a t h a m v a n can cd du stf an tam de ch o phep
th a n ch u b ie t l a p vd i ch in h m in h , ton tro n g th a n ch u , cho phep
th a n chu d tfQ c l a ch in h ho. Co n htf v a y th an chu m d i dtfQ c ttf do
b a y to b a n th a n : th a n h th at h a y gia doi, a u tri h a y tr tfd r g t h a n h ,
tu y e t v o n g h a y q u a ttf tin. T h a n chu ttf do dtfQ c la m in h m a khong
1 C. Rogers. Tien trinh thanh nhan, Tien si To Thi Anh & Vu Trong Cng dich. NXB
T PH CM 1992.
C H l f O N G 4: Nha th am van va than chu trong moi quan he th am van tam li
233
ch gy th e o ld i k h u yen d v\ th e it nhi'eu phu th u oc, h a y rap kh u on
th eo n ha th a m van .
6. N h a th a m va n co kh a nang th au hieu van d'e cu a than chu,
tu" do co k h a n a n g di vao th e gid i tinh cam va y n g h i rien g ttf cua
th an ch u v a n h in ch u n g n h u than chu da nhin th av. Di'eu n ay giup
th an chu k h o n g p h o n g v£, kh o n g quanh co m a di t h in g vao th y c
te cu a m in h.
7. N h a th a m va n ch ap nhan m oi kh ia can h cu a th an chu y
n h u con ngirdi th a n ch u, de cho than chu th a y diTQc ton trong,
dirQc ch ap n h an . C o nhir v a y th an chu se k h o n g p h ai gia doi, "deo
m at na" trirdc n h a th a m van va trtfdc
cuqc
ddi.
8. N h a th a m va n p h ai h an h d on g vd i d a y dii s y i-nh te tron g
m oi q u an he v d i th a n chii de cho cach d oi xtf cu a nha th a m van
kh o n g bi xem n h tf m o t de doa. N goai ra, n ha th a m van cd th e giai
th oat th a n ch u k h o i n htfng m oi lo tu1b en n goai de th a n chu co the
cam n h a n v a doi p h o v d i nhtfng xu n g dot noi tam m a ho th a y bi
de d oa tro n g ch in h b a n th a n hQ.
9. N h a th a m v a n g iu p th an chii th o a t kh oi cai sQ bi ngtfdi
k h ac d an h gia. N h a th a m van can g gitf m oi q u an h£ th a m van
n goai v o n g p h e p h a n v a d an h gia thi can g de cho th an chu dat tdi
luc n h an ra ra n g k h a n a n g v a trach n h iem nam tro n g ch in h ho.
Di'eu n a y se g iu p th a n chu dtfQc ttf do de trd th an h ngtfdi chiu
trach nhi£m v d i ch in h m inh.
10. N h a th a m va n p h ai coi th an chii n htf mQt ngtfdi d an g
tro n g tien trin h trtfd n g th an h , d an g th a y doi chu1 k h o n g bi tro i
biiQc b d i q u a kh ir ciia th an chu va qua kh ir cua b an th a n nha
tham van . N h a th a m van se han che k h a n a n g th a y d oi ciia th an
chii neu tro n g m di q u a n h th am van , n ha th a m van d oi xir vd i
th an ch ii n h tf m o t dira b e au tri, m ot h o c sin h d ot h a y m ot ngtfdi
bi b£nh th a n k in h . N h a th a m van p h ai thira n h an tat ca tiem n an g
ciia th a n ch ii, n h a n th a y th a n chii d an g dan trtfd n g th an h .
N h tf va y, k h i n h a th a m van tao dtfQc m ot m di ttfQng giao
ch an th tfc tr o n g su o t, tro n g do nha th a m va n so n g v d i cac cam
g ia c th y c ciia m in h ; co sir n h i?t tin h ton tro n g va ch ap n h an th an
ch ii n h tf m o t ca n h a n rien g b iet va n ha th am van co k h a n an g
234
Giao trinh T h a m van tam li
n h a y cam de n h in th e gid i cua th an chu g io n g n h u th an ch u nhin,
thi th an ch u se cam n h an v a hieu dtfQc n htfng kh ia can h bj de nen
tru d c d a y cu a m in h ; T h a n chu se th a y con ngUcfi m in h trd nen
nh at q u an hQn, co th e h a n h d on g htfu h ieu hQn; Hq co the trd
nen gio n g m au n g u d i m a h o ao Udc m u on trd th an h ; Hq ttf chu va
ttf tin hQn dQc d ao hQn va ttf bQC 1q hQn; T h a n chu h ieu ngtfdi
k h a c v a ch ap n h a n ngtfdi k h a c hQn de co the dUQng dau vdi
nhtfng van d'e cu a ddi so n g mQt cach th ich d an g va de c h iu 1.
N h tfn g d iem m a C. R o gers dtfa ra doi vd i n ha th am van nhir
mQt stf d o n g g o p ld n lao cho viec xay dtfng nhtfng p h am chat dao
du'c cu a n ha th a m van va n ghe n gh iep th a m van . T a t ca nhtfng
diem tren deu p h an anh cac d ac diem tam li cua n ha th am van,
n h u tru n g thtfc, th au hieu tron ven , ton trQng, ch ap nhan than
chu, tin v a o k h a n an g giai q u yet cua th an chu. N h u n g p h am chat
n a y la m ch o m di q u an he th a m van trd n en co y n gh ia. G iu p cho
th a n ch u h ieu dtfQc n htfng noi dau, to n thtfQng tro n g qua khtf cua
m in h la do nhtfng m oi q u an h e co dieu kien tro n g cuqc son g cua
hQ sin h ra. M o i q u an he th am va n tap tru n g v a o th an chu co the
g iu p th a n chtf th a y doi nhtfng h a n h vi m a h o da co tro n g qua khtf
v a trQ g iu p th a n ch u ch u yen ttf nhtfng n h an thtfc sai lech ve ban
th a n d en n h a n th tfc d u n g dan ve ch in h hQ.
Q u an d iem ctfa C. R ogers ve m di q u an h e gitfa n ha tham van
va th an chu k h o n g chi co hieu qua tro n g th a m va n m a con rat htfu
ich tro n g tat ca cac m oi tUQng giao n han loai. R ogers tin rang neu
nha th a m va n co the dem lai nhtfng dieu kien th u an lQi nhtf tren
cho th a n chtf th i th an chu se trd nen cdi m d va hieu nhtfng noi
dau, ton thtfQng tro n g q ua khtf la do nhtfng m di quan he co dieu
ki^n tro n g cuqc so n g cu a hQ. Thtfc te nhtfng m di q u an he th am van
nhtf the n a y co th e giu p th an chu th a y ddi h an h vi m a hQ da co
tro n g q ua kh tf v a trQ giu p than chu ch u yen ttf nhtfng nhan thtfc sai
lech v e b an th an den nhan thtfc d un g dan ve ch in h hQ.
M o i q u an h e tro n g th a m van can dtfa tren n g u yen tac m em
deo, th ich n gh i cu n g th an chu. D ieu nay co n g h ia la van de cua
th an chu giai q u y et n h a n h h a y ch am phu thuQC va o tien trinh
n h a n h h a y ch am tro n g viec th a y doi tro n g th an ch u. X h a tham
1 C arl R o g ers, Tien trinh thanh nhan. To T hj -Anh & V u T ro n g C n g d jc h . N X B T P H C M 1992.
:
235
C H U O N G 4: Nha th am van va than chu trong moi quan he tham van tam li
van p h ai co th d i gian dan h cho than chu. N ha th am van phai b iet
la n g n gh e, b iet k h u yen kh ich, tran an de th an chu noi ra van d'e
cu a m in h , b ie t p h an hoi de hieu ch in h xac n h im g y n gh ia cua
th o n g tin , b iet th o n g d at de trai n gh iem n h im g gi th an chu noi ra,
va b iet k e t hQp g iu a q u an sat han h vi cir chi phi n gon ngtf vcfi ldi
noi cu a th a n chu, de loi len tu1 tan g b£c vo thirc cu a cam xu c b an
nan g den n h u n g tin h cam li tri va n him g han h vi lam chu dtfgfc.
K hi b a n v'e v ie c d u y tri m oi
Bai tap nhom
quan he tro n g th a m va n ch uyen
lao
1. Hay md ta nhirng do dac,
lu yen tren th e gid i th u d n g co xu
vat dung cdn thiet cho mot
htfdng co n g kh ai nhtfng yeu cau
phdng
tham van doi vd i th a n chu. T h eo
nghiep.
hp, mQt b an chi dan v'e m oi quan
2. Ban se sap dat phdng tham
he trQ g iu p m a n g tin h p h ap li gitfa
van ciia minh nhu" the nao de'
nha th a m va n va th a n chu de giai
tao mdi tnrdng tham van thoai
th ich ve q u a trin h th a m van , cach
mdi va an toan cho than chii?
n gh iep ,
cac n h a
th a m
van
tham
van
chuyen
tiep c0n li th u y et, cac g ia y u y
n h iem cu a n h a th a m van , cac dieu le cua co q u an co lien quan,
viec co n g b o g id i h an cu a stf gitf bi m at, nhtfng va n de v'e p h ap li
va nhtfng th on g, tin q u an trQng kh ac lien q u an den m o i q u an he
th am va n ... se g iu p ch o m oi quan he trQ giu p m an g tin h ch u yen
nghiep . B an chi d an n a y co th e dtfa th an ch u doc v a ki ten trtfdc
khi b at d'au v ie c th ie t lap m oi quan h e th am va n ch in h thtfc.
N e u k ru g (19 9 9 ) ch o ran g van con n h ieu n h a th a m van v a n tin
ttfdng va o nhtfng tu y e n b o co n g kh ai k h o n g b an g va n b an (ban g
m ien g) v a nhi'eu n h a th a m van nhin ch u n g con coi th tfd n g kh ia
cgnh p h a p li ciia m oi q u an he th am van . T h eo ong, d a y co le la
mQt sai lam vi n h a th a m van d an g k h o n g ttf b ao ve m in h mQt cach
d ay dii tro n g tru d n g hQp co kien tu n g va k h o n g cu n g cap nhtfng
kien thtfc cO b an v'e th a m van xtfng d an g v d i m oi th an chu. V ie c
cu n g cap th o n g tin mQt cach d ay du v'e b an ch at co n g viec cu a nha
th a m v a n v d i th a n chii, tro n g do th e hien stf th iet lap q u an he
th a m va n la niQt b ie u h ien ciia stf ton trQng th an chii.
M o i q u an he th a m va n con bi anh htfd ng b d i n h ieu yeu to,
nhtf: k h o n g g ia n th a m van (Stf b a y tri dd dac tro n g va n p hong;
236
Giao trinh T h a m van tam li
tra n g p h y c n go ai h in h cua nha th am van ; b ieu hien h anh vi
k h o n g lcfi cu a n h a th a m van); y thu'c s in sa n g cu a th a n chu cho
vi^c kh a m p h a va giai q u yet va n de can th a m va n va cac pham
ch at ch u y en n g h iep cu a n ha th am van . T u y n h ien dieu m a nhi'eu
n ha th a m va n lutf y tro n g viec x a y d y n g m oi q u an he th a m van la
tin h p h a p li ciia m oi q u an h e do.
Khi g iu p d d ch o ca c th an chu, nha th a m van phai lu on y thufc
dUdc stf h a n ch e cu a th a m van . K h on g p h ai m oi van de kh o khan,
roi n h ieu cu a th a n chu deu d u p e giai q u yet th o n g q u a th am van.
H an ch e cu a n h a th a m van b at n gu on tir triet li so n g cua ca nhan
ho; h an ch e v'e dao tao , v'e nhirng m o h in h th a m van va v'e kinh
n gh iem son g, van d'e dao dire ngh'e n g h iep cu a n ha th a m van va
stf tro n g dp i cu a to chirc n o i anh ta lam viec. N h a th a m van phai
lu o n y thirc ra n g neu cac h o a t d on g cu a ho lu o n cd chira dyng
n h u n g ti'em n a n g g a y n g u y h iem cho kh a ch h a n g h o a c khi ket qua
k h o n g tien trie n k h a q uan , th i n h a th am v a n n en b a c b o vai tro
th am va n cu a m in h va d ua ra ld i kh u yen , gd i y, gid i th ieu than
ch u den ca c n h a th a m v a n lan h n gh e kh ac. V i ld i ich cua than chu
lu o n p h ai dirpc d at len h a n g dau. V e p h ia th a n chu, m o hin h van
h oa, lo i so n g, y m u o n th a t stf giai q u yet v a n d'e v a k in h nghiem
cu a ho cu n g an h h u d n g d en k e t q u a th a m van .
CAU HOI ON TAP CHlTONG 4
1. H ay li g ia i nhirng y e u cau doi v d i n h a th a m va n vd i tu cach
la m o t co n n g u d i b in h th u d n g v a v d i tu cach la m ot ngirdi
tr o g iu p ch u y en n gh iep .
2. T rin h b a y ca c p h a m ch at cu a n h a th a m v a n ch u yen nghiep.
3. N eu cac d au h ieu cu a nan d'e v a cac cO ch e p h o n g ve khi ca
n h an co n an d'e.
4. Q u a n d ie m cu a b a n n h u th e nao v'e m ot n g u d i can den stf
g iu p d d cu a n h a th a m va n de vUdt q u a kh o k h a n ciia m inh.
5. P h an tich ca c d ac d iem cua m oi q u an he th a m van .
CHUtTNG 5
DAO OUTC TRONG THAM VAN TAM Lj
Nhitng nguyen tac dao due cung cap su" hu&ng dan cho
cdc chuyen gia tham van, giup lam ro nhitng trach nhiem
ciia cdc chuyen gia v&i xa hoi, mang lai sit yen tam cho xa
hoi vd giiip cdc chuyen gia duy tri hanh vi chinh true vd sit
tit do ciia ho tU ben ngoai cdc nguyen tac. M oi khi cdc cd
quan lap phap thong qua nhitng dieu luat ddi hoi hanh vi
Ung xU khong tudng U. ig v&i nhitng nguyen tac dao dUc
nghe nghiep thi nhung hiep hoi chuyen mon co gang yeu
cau thay doi phap luat. Neu viec nay khong thanh thi hiep
hoi se sit a doi nhung nguyen tac dao dUc cua minh cho phu
hdp v&i dao luat m&i.
(Swenson, 1993)
T ro n g ch iron g n ay, trirdc tien ch u n g to i se p h an tich m oi
quan hp giira lu a t p h ap va cac q u y
dieu d ao du’c tro n g th a m van. Sau do
trin h b a y m pt so n g u ye n ta c dao du’c
co b an cu a ca c n g a n h trp g iu p con
ngudi. T ro n g p h a n g id i thipu cac tieu
ch uan d ao du’c n g h e th a m van , ch u n g
toi se chi ra m p t so d iem cO b an tro n g
cac tieu ch u a n d ao dire tro n g n gan h
th am v a n tren th e g id i v a xem xet cac
tinh h u o n g co th e dupe gpi la vi pham
dao dire tro n g th u c h a n h th am van
tren th e g id i. C u o i cu n g, gid i th ieu
“ La p ra t i qu e d e l ' E t h i q u e ”
w w w .n a u tile s .u n b lo g .f r
b an h p p d o n g th a m van dupe soan
th a o b d i cac g ia o sU T n rd n g Dai hpc M ississp p i. B an h p p d on g
dirpc trin h b a y v d i cac kh ia c
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